What does the practice of tantric sex involve?
Tantra is an ancient Indian practice that dates back over 5,000 years. In Sanskrit, the word tantra means “entwined.” This practice brings together spirituality and sexuality and emphasizes celebrating your body, heightening sensuality and intimate connection. It encourages an extremely sensual experience that can be enjoyed alone or with a partner.
In fact, those who practice tantric techniques have the general goal of freeing the soul and expanding consciousness. This can be done in many ways, with tantric sex being just one of them.
A typical tantra session involves the subtle realms of sex, including slow embraces, gentle caresses, being present in the body, and focusing on the movement of energy between the partners' bodies.
If you relax and take things slow, or speed up and slow down the action, you can have sex for hours, and the pleasure can continue to build.
People with penises can also explore practices such as "edging" (getting close to orgasm but not quite ejaculating), which increases their ability to last longer and sustain more pleasure before reaching orgasm.
Tantric sex can delve into raw, intense, animalistic spaces, where the body’s instinctive intelligence takes over and one becomes blind to pleasure. Domination and submission can also be tantric.
Breathwork is also fundamental to tantric sex; people can use their breath and awareness to move sexual energy throughout their bodies, awakening their capacity for full-body pleasure (rather than pleasure localized specifically to the genitals).
Benefits of tantric sex
- Know your body - encourages people to get to know their own body and get in tune with it. This can lead to greater sexual satisfaction and more intense orgasms.
- Know your partner’s body – Honor your body and your partner’s body.
- Getting more of what you want in sex
- Releasing sexual blocks and shame
- Working on sexual traumas
- Awaken your sexual energy to flow freely within your body
- Access your greatest pleasure and desire
- Tuning into subtle energy
- Discover full body and/or multiple orgasms
- For people with penises, delaying orgasm or having non-ejaculatory orgasms
- Experience a new level of connection with your partner, a deep sense of intimacy and loving presence
- Longer sex sessions, relaxation and a quality environment
- Improved communication and communion between the couple
How to start exploring tantric sex
If you are ready to explore tantric sex with your partner, here are some tips and practices to help you feel as natural as possible, starting with the basic activities and concepts that are also fundamental.
Create a sacred space
Consciously disconnect from the mundane world and enter the world of the Divine - the world of pleasure. Turn off appliances, light candles or incense, and gather any special treats, such as chocolates or berries.
Purify yourself by taking a shower and getting dressed in something that makes you feel good and sensual; purify your space by tidying up and cleaning up any visual clutter you may feel in the room. It is also best to not consume or consume fewer substances so that you can be fully present.
Set intentions for this intimate session, such as: “My intention is to show you with my body how much I love and desire you” or “I am curious to explore our connection deeply.”
Relax with movements
Lie on your back and release the tension. As you breathe, arch your back and lift your pelvis. You can repeat this movement to create a rhythm and feel yourself releasing stress and beginning to connect with your body and emotions.
Use breathing techniques
Breathing is a fundamental part of tantric sex. This is partly because tantric sex revolves around meditation.
During tantric sex, one should focus on breathing deeply through the diaphragm. To achieve this, one should breathe deeply through the nose for five seconds. One should feel one’s stomach swelling. Then, one should exhale through the mouth. One should repeat this at least 5 times.
When practicing tantric sex with a partner, the synchronization of breathing between the couple can profoundly increase connection and intimacy.
Another breathing technique that people can try is Kapalbhati. Kapalbhati helps prolong ejaculation in men. When a man feels like he is about to ejaculate, he should exhale forcefully through his mouth and then automatically inhale through his mouth.
Look into each other's eyes
In your partner's powerful gaze, there is nowhere to hide, and you practice revealing yourself completely to the other person with everything you feel and everything you are. See them as completely vulnerable and, at the same time, see them with all their strength.
Sit upright on a cushion or chair, facing your partner. You can look left eye to left eye or just gaze softly into both eyes, and you can also hold hands if you like. Let the connection that unites you be felt through your eyes. Feel the sacredness of this simple moment together.
Try it for two minutes. Notice what emotions or sensations arise, or if you feel tempted to look away. This isn't a staring contest, so you can always close your eyes for a few seconds and then repeat the moment again.
Explore tantric massage
Tantric massages are another powerful part of tantric sex, which can be the key to multiple orgasms for both the clitoris and the penis.
In a tantric massage, one partner lies down and receives, having the opportunity to tune into their pleasure and sexual energy and see how it wants to open up through their body, while the other partner moves their hands slowly and meditatively along their body to let them feel each new sensation.
Consider trying yoni massage (a tantric massage for the vagina and clitoris), lingam massage (a tantric massage for the penis), and tantric nipple play.
You can find massage oils and gels for this practice here.
Explore the yab-yum position
This classic tantric sex position represents the union of Shiva and Shakti, the two divine energies of masculine and feminine.
The base partner (representing Shiva, who is energetically or physically penetrative) sits cross-legged on a cushion in the “holding” position, while the other partner (representing Shakti, who is energetically or physically receptive) can either place their legs over their partner’s legs with their bottom on the bed or a cushion, or they can sit completely on their partner’s lap. The base partner’s arms should wrap around the waist of the other partner, whose arms should wrap around the base partner’s shoulders. Your heads can be facing each other, or they can touch at the forehead. This position aligns the partners’ chakras and allows the sexual energy to move upward along the spine.
Once you are aligned, begin by taking slow, deep breaths, synchronizing your breathing. Then begin to move together in slow undulations, arching, rotating in circles, finding a delicious flow and rhythm, activating your sexual energy together.
Connect with your breath to expand the pleasure and sexual energy throughout your body, illuminating every cell with this life force. You can try to keep it small and subtle or be as vigorous as you like, but either way, use your breath to draw the orgasmic energy from your pelvis throughout your body.
This position can be practiced fully clothed, naked, or with any form of penetration you desire. You can even learn to have energetic, full-body orgasms—without any penetration—while remaining fully clothed, although this may take a little more practice!
Conclusion
There can be a whole range of goals and expectations around sex that pressure us to be a certain way, as well as routines and habits that keep us stuck in a sexual rut.
Tantra is about throwing all that out the window and starting over with a beginner’s mind, redefining sex by making it more about intimacy, connection, and playful possibility, rather than a race to orgasm or a box to check.
When you set aside goals like "turning someone on" or achieving something in particular, there is literally endless room for discovery and such a vast range of what is possible.
And whatever you are experiencing now in terms of orgasm, you can safely assume that there is much more to experience through tantric sex - more powerful orgasms, longer-lasting orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms and multiple orgasms for men, numerous types of orgasms for women, deep states of surrender, visionary states, and states of oneness with your partner and with life itself.
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